AJ's Headspace

Why Do Men Keep Putting Me in the Girlfriend-Zone?

Mon, 20 May 2013 12:45:16 -0400

You know how it is, right, ladies? You know a guy for a while. You hang out with him. You do fun things with him—play video games, watch movies, go hiking, go to concerts. You invite him to your parties. You listen to his problems. You do all this because you think he wants to be your friend.

But then, then comes the fateful moment where you find out that all this time, he’s only seen you as a potential girlfriend. And then if you turn him down, he may never speak to you again. This has happened to me time after time: I hit it off with a guy, and, for all that I’ve been burned in the past, I start to think that this one might actually care about me as a person. And then he asks me on a date.

I tell him how much I enjoy his company, how much I value his friendship. I tell him that I really want to be his friend and to continue hanging out with him and talking about our favorite books or exploring new restaurants or making fun of avant-garde theatre productions. But he rejects me. He doesn’t answer my calls or e-mails; if we’d been making plans to do something before this fateful incident, these plans mysteriously fail to materialize. (This is why I never did get around to seeing the Hunger Games movie. Not to name any names, but thanks a lot, Tom.) Later, when I run into him at social events, our conversations are awkward and lukewarm. This is because the moment we met, he put me in the girlfriend-zone, and now he can’t see me as friend material.

I must say that I find this really unfair. I mean, I’m a nice girl. I have a lot to offer as a friend, like not being a douchebag and stuff. But males just don’t want to be friends with nice girls like me. They can’t help it, I guess; it’s just how they’re wired, biologically. Evolution conditioned our male hominid ancestors to seek nice girls as mates and form friendship bonds only with the other dudes that they hunted mammoths with. It’s true—I know this because I studied hominids in my fifth-grade science class.

So what’s the answer? Should I take up mammoth-hunting in an attempt to appeal to the friendship centers of men’s primal lizardbrains? Should I keep making guy “friends” and then prevent them from making a move on me by subtly undermining their self-confidence? Should I just give up on those manipulative, game-playing, two-faced bastards once and for all? I don’t know. I mean, I’d really like to have a true friendship with a guy someday, but it’s so hard to trust and respect them when they never say what they mean—and you never know when you might be relegated to the girlfriend-zone.

Lawd, all kinds of yes to this!

guerrillamamamedicine: rocknrollercoaster: to tha...

Thu, 02 May 2013 09:47:48 -0400

guerrillamamamedicine:

rocknrollercoaster:

to tha window

haaaaayyy!!!!!

Awww right, y’all!

justthedesign: Poliform Wall System Used In A Modern Living...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 19:06:41 -0400

justthedesign:

Poliform Wall System Used In A Modern Living Room

scandalmoments: Tony Goldwyn’s interview in People Most...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 18:59:32 -0400

scandalmoments:

Tony Goldwyn’s interview in People Most Beautiful in 2013 issue. H/T: caramelcandy82 + @scandal_olitz

LAST INDULGENCE

Because of the, uh, content in Scandal, I wanted to make sure I was eating well. We tease each other on set-set about how much we’re starving ourselves. So last night I had a cheeseburger fries, and a beer, and that was a nice indulgence.

LAST INJURY

A couple of years ago I decided to learn to snowboard, so I took lessons. On my second day I fell and shattered my wrist and had to have a plate put in it. Some things I’m just too old to learn.

LAST GOOD DEED

I was a stoplight the day before yesterday and saw a man with the most lovely face holding a sign saying he was in a rough financial shape. I rolled down my window and gave him 20 bucks. I always try and do that; it’s so easy to just turn away.

LAST TIME I CRIED

My daughters will tell you I cry pretty easily. I’m really nervous for their weddings because I just know I’m going to make a total fool of myself.

LAST TIME I SAID I WAS SORRY

The other day on the phone with my wife [Jane Musky] because we had some stupid, meaningless argument, so I said I was sorry. Then I realized how effective it is!

This interview is further proof of how humbled Tony Goldwyn truly is.

Awwwwwwww, Tony!

justthedesign: Living Room Photography By Stephanie Rammeloo

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 08:36:10 -0400

justthedesign:

Living Room Photography By Stephanie Rammeloo

fuckyeahviggomortensen: by Adam Whitehead for the Spring/Summer...

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 20:22:54 -0400

fuckyeahviggomortensen:

by Adam Whitehead for the Spring/Summer 2013 issue of Telegraph Men’s Style

Photo

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 10:33:04 -0400

tinyhousesmallspace: Expandable Moble Mini-Home Fuck yeah!!!

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 18:35:37 -0400

tinyhousesmallspace:

Expandable Moble Mini-Home

Fuck yeah!!!

hellyesginger: yorkwhitaker: Cosby Swag. Never forget your TV...

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 17:41:47 -0400

hellyesginger:

yorkwhitaker:

Cosby Swag. Never forget your TV mama.

I would totally dance with her

justthedesign: Bedroom Styling and Photography By...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 15:22:45 -0400

justthedesign:

Bedroom Styling and Photography By Netta-Natalia

haydenwilliamsillustrations: Marvel Couture by Hayden Williams:...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 14:07:02 -0400

haydenwilliamsillustrations:

Marvel Couture by Hayden Williams: Storm

BAM!

apihtawikosisan: patrickandmarcus: Too many people got the narrative of black people in America...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 11:56:05 -0400

apihtawikosisan:

patrickandmarcus:

Too many people got the narrative of black people in America all fucked up.

They act like it went

Slavery

Freedom

Equality

Ratchet music and weaves and twerking and jordans and reality tv led to black people not being respected and assuming a lower status in society

You really need to get yo shit together

This is a pretty concise description of how ppl miss the point completely when they declare racism is dead.

Oooooookaaaaaaaay?

orangepenguino: I want every single one of these dresses. So...

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 10:15:40 -0400

orangepenguino:

I want every single one of these dresses. So pretty.

The Top Ten Nude Nail Polishes For Afro Beauty

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 10:42:55 -0400

sourcedumal:

mochafleur:

I heard the birds the other day outside of my window and I thought to myself, damn spring is upon us. And with spring comes the ever essence of trendy springness and my internet addicted self on Beautylish. Well, one of the most popular trends in the beauty/nail world is definitely nude nail polishes. Nude nail polishes are fun and simple, with classic minimal colors. If they chip if won’t be much trouble to fix and obvious. While offering delicate funky designs you can do to a basic foundation of color that is close to your undertone or skin-tone!
But looking at the recent Nail collections that were and are going to be put out, POC (people of color) specifically my brown skin darlings, where were we at in these collections? I see all the beige and boring white mayonnaises but WHERE OH WHERE are my Mahogany browns, my mauve earth bronzes, golden-orange sizzling twany’s! I want to see US in these collections and somehow even with the recent uproar on the POC end of the cosmetic world. We still sufferin’ at the drugstore levels of beauty.

Well here’s a small list in the millions and millions of nail polishes. I tried to make them cohesive with skin-tones mostly but their are quite a few you can use for undertones as well! Enjoy Lovelies

__________________

HIt me up

Tweet me!
Like me!
Follow me!

_________________________________________

1. China Glaze Sunset Sail
Retails at 3$-6$

Although wearer is not as light as the nail polish this is a nice peachy nude for lighter Afro beauties and has a nice warm undertone which can be sometimes hard to pinpoint in warm yellow lovelies.

Link for image

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2. Zoya Pandora
Retails at $8

A natural metallic pink with soft shimmer. This is gorgeous for Afro lovelies whom don’t want a skin-tone nude and have pink in the nails already. I’m in love with this color myself!!

Link For image

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3. Essie Milky Way
Retails at $6.99-$8

A cool toned brown. I can see many brown skinned beauties wearing this with a beautiful matte coat on top. It definitely resembles skin color ( Mannequin nails) and has a delicate feel to it!

Link for image

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4. Ginger + Liz Brown Sugar ( Black owned company!!! -squeals-)
Retails at $12.00

Another cool brown! If you’re in the range of Laura London, Vanessa Williams or Elle Varner I think this brown will be your friend. Plus this is a Black owned company and is vegan friendly. Without the promise for the 4 harsh chemicals, this color is gorgeous and looks very creamy.

(Image found on company website)

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5. Revlon Hot for Chocolate
Retail $4-$6

Literally a beautiful chocolate brown, I can almost taste the chocolate in this color. I’m aching to buy it, this is beautiful deep rich color that has plumy red undertones. Perfect for my darker skinned lovelies.

(Link for image
Another Link)

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6. Butter London tramp stamp
Retails at $15.00

Another deep chocolate this one is definitely more burgundy red. This is definitely for red undertones but richness to it makes it feel creamy. Butter london’s lacquers are well made and better be for that 15 price tag.

Link for image

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7. HIPPXRGB F3
Retails at $16.00

Straight forward these nail polishes were created for skin-tones in fact. Although there are 4 this one is definitely for caramel/mid tone brown people. Warm looking and glides on smooth.

(Image from company website)

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8. HIPPxRGB F4
Retails at $16.00

From the same line as #8 this one is for darker skin-tones and has a warm tone also. I was lucky to find a swatch online, it blends effort with her skin.

Link for image

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9. Zoya Dea
Retails at $8

Milk Chocolate! that’s exactly what it looks like to me, Zoya delivers with this. This is a cool toned brown color with very soft and very subtle purple undertones. Gorgeous color

Link for Image

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10. Sally Hansen The Good Earth
Retails at $6.49-8

Dark brown with micro gold shimmer this is beautiful. It looks so smooth and the shimmer makes it glow in the sunlight.

Link for image

Ooh, these are really pretty colors!!!!!

Thank you for this!

rebekahloves: writing update: i have to write another book. i...

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 10:39:32 -0400

rebekahloves:

writing update: i have to write another book. i know, it’s nuts that writers have to keep writing. anywho. im plotting out my next project. i have the conflict down (my editor will be so proud) and i have my “actors”. Rutina and Daniel i think will make quite the lovely couple as Amanda Baldwin and David Nah. this will be first hetero romance that i’ll be writing for publication. should be different and fun. :D

::slow clap::

great! ...where are we going?: Janet Mock will be at Equality & Justice Day!

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 10:35:32 -0400

great! ...where are we going?: Janet Mock will be at Equality & Justice Day! :

foreverqueird:

If you are a New Yorker, and you support transgender rights, join us at the state Capitol for Equality & Justice Day on April 30th! Whether you are transgender/gender non-conforming, family, or an ally, you are welcome to rally for Transgender Equality!

Right now in New York State, it is totally legal to discriminate against someone because of their transgender status, in regards to housing, employment, and public accommodations. We are fighting for the Gender Expression Non Discrimination Act (GENDA) to be passed, which would make it illegal to discriminate against people because of their gender identity or gender expression.

Marriage equality had it’s day. Now it’s time for transgender people to get their rights/needs met!

Janet Mock will be there, as well as many other presenters. E & J Day is an incredibly day to take part in. There will be workshops, caucuses, lobbying, lunch (yum), and a rally. There is a fee (check out the site), but you can apply for a scholarship if money is an issue. If transportation is an issue for you, there are buses coming from all different parts of the state.

http://www.prideagenda.org/Our-Programs/Equality-Justice-Day-2013.aspx

https://www.facebook.com/events/503914122984650/

The “T” in the LGBT acronym has been forgotten & pushed to the side long enough. Help us push GENDA across the finish line & get some protections for ourselves & our loved ones!

Please register at the above links to help fight for our equality!

womensweardaily: Exhibit Pairing Dior Dresses With...

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 10:33:56 -0400

womensweardaily:

Exhibit Pairing Dior Dresses With Impressionist Paintings

Dresses inspired by Renoir, Seurat and Manet from Dior’s fall-winter 2007 couture collection.

Photo by Laziz Hamani

Here for this.

bohemianarthouse: geekscoutcookies: Damnit. “The Balcony is...

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 07:56:10 -0400

bohemianarthouse:

geekscoutcookies:

Damnit.

“The Balcony is Now Closed.”

and now I’m crying

Thank you, Elder Ebert, for not only showing us that movie criticism melds the love of writing, love for the movies, and love for the movie-going public, but also for showing us love through your 20-year example with your lovely wife, Chaz, who loved you back and just as deeply.

theblackworkshop: Space Saving Solutions In A Loft by FGMF...

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 07:48:17 -0400

theblackworkshop:

Space Saving Solutions In A Loft by FGMF Arquitetos, Brazil

::screams with joy::

afrocenchic: She just posted this on her FB page…so fly!!...

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 07:47:45 -0400

afrocenchic:

She just posted this on her FB page…so fly!! #ChakaKhan #tbt #afro #naturalhair